The Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits by Lee Manigault

Author:Lee Manigault
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2014-01-21T00:00:00+00:00

“The energy of two people sparking a friendship permeates the room.”

The moment your guest walks in your house is the most important moment of the evening. Your enthusiasm sets the stage: Every single person who walks in your door should feel like the star of the evening. This includes the dud spouse of your best friend and the relative who drives you the most crazy. Simply by your being fascinated by them, the guests begin to feel fascinating, and others wonder what you are seeing that they don’t. Here is the trick: Tonight you are not pretending. You believe everyone in your house is a star and should be treated accordingly. A party of supernovas never fails.

There are some sad truths in the world and the saddest may be that not everyone is going to want to come to your party. There may be no reason, or the reasons may be limitless, but the fact is, once you have had two or three rejections from the same person, move on. There are plenty of people who are dying to come to your parties, so focus on them and do not speculate about why someone said no. You will never guess correctly.

If a guest texts or calls the host on the day of the event to cancel (unless it’s a true emergency), there is a troubling lack of respect. Money and effort have already been spent on his behalf. Abusing a host with such a last-minute brush-off guarantees that the invited won’t be invited again. Just as bad is a noncommittal response. “I’ll try” or “Maybe” are meaningless platitudes that tell hosts nothing about the number of guests we can expect. We would rather hear “no” than “maybe.” The Deans have spoken to countless party givers, and have experienced themselves these rejections and the ensuing havoc. It’s not that the guests themselves are irreplaceable treasures, it’s that there is no time left in which to replace them. The last-minute cancellation says in the baldest way that you have found something better to do and have chosen to do that instead. Ouch! Our final instruction: Do not let your invitations age like a fine wine hoping you will get a better one. We know what you are up to. When you receive an invitation, you have one to two days in which to respond, unless the invitation is via text or phone, in which case your response should be immediate. An immediate no is more welcome than a yes that transforms into a no later.

Thanking people is a cinch. But the Deans have noticed a new trend that we can’t like. People bring a hostess gift in lieu of thanking us later. To this trend, we say “no thank you.” Save your money, and instead lavish us with your praise and post-party wrap-up. We want the breakdown of our party: What did you think, who did you like, who did you not like, what did you talk about, did you go out afterward.

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